The humor, art, and writing varies widely, so you’re sure to find at least one arc that you’ll love. If you like these Deadpool quotes or want to figure out WTF is happening in them, go watch either Deadpool movie or pick up a comic. Glowing green fist guy: Put up your dukes!ĭeadpool: Oh, no! Don’t punch me! I’ve never been punched before.Īttractive blonde man: Deadpool was brain controlled by Order, and he was going to kill you, but it looks like tacos broke the spell.ĭeadpool: -smiling and holding an armful of tacos- Tacos! Man with a sword and cape: This fight is completely unnecessary.ĭeadpool: -kicking him through a window- Blasphemy! All fights are necessary.ĭeadpool: Then how do you brush your teeth?ĭeadpool: -pretending to faint- Ooh, pardon me, sir, your highness! Lend me a white glove so I can slap it across your face! Did I say that out loud?ĭeadpool: Kill’s too harsh a word. Deadpool is a fictional character appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics.Created by writer Fabian Nicieza and artist/writer Rob Liefeld, the character first appeared in The New Mutants 98 (cover-dated Feb. The fate of a thief.ĭeadpool: I really find you very attractive. Thor: -holding Deadpool by the neck- You will be handed over to the authorities. Imprisonment shall be yours. Long story.ĭeadpool: Aw, poor widdle Wolvie. Not the one with the bald guy that looks like Professor X.Īttractive white guy: I’ll use short words.ĭeadpool: -staring at a wound on Wolverine- Uh-oh. Wilson?ĭeadpool: I have every episode of Star Trek. Think you can help me cite these funny scenes? Please comment below!Īttractive white guy:Do you know anything about science, Mr. You know what they hate? Adequately citing these shorts. You know what Deadpool fans love? Sharing shots of their favorite lines. Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Okay, you’ve got me in a box here.ĭeadpool: Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo. as Deadpool very, very disastrously attempts to fight Colossus-ĭeadpool:Yeah, it’s right next to the prostrate…or is that the on switch?ĭeadpool: So what’s it going to be, sullen silence or mean comment? Con-they’re lame-ass teacher’s pets!ĭeadpool: You big chrome cock goblin-you’re really gonna fuck this up for me. Pro-they pull down a gaggle of ass, local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals, both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies. Almost like the studio couldn’t afford another X-Man.ĭeadpool: Daddy needs to express some rage.ĭeadpool: Okay, let’s pro/con this superhero thing. arguing for the umpteenth time with the ever-patient Colossus-ĭeadpool: If I ever decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at Neverland Mansion with some creepy, old, bald, Heaven’s Gate-looking motherfucker…on that day, I’ll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request.ĭeadpool: I didn’t just get the cure to el cancer, I got the cure to el everything.ĭeadpool: I want to die a natural death at the age of 102-like the city of Detroit.ĭeadpool: It’s a big house. I didn't know what to do.Deadpool: You know what they call cancer in Spanish?
Threats hurt, Jer, though not nearly as much as serrated steel. And little Meghan, she's not made of money, but lucky for her, I got a soft spot. Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys who take a dime to beat a fella down. And a low-fat dessert.ĭo you happen to know a Meghan Orflowsky - gettin' that right? Orflasky? Orlovsy? - Yeah? Good. a Yogurtlands reward card?īaby, about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want. Later tonight? Hey, what can I get for $275 and uh. It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn. I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet, which also happened to be my. Daddy left before I was born.Įver had a cigarette put out on your skin?
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